Canuckz.com » Bandwagon Douchebaggery

Vancouver Canucks Fans = 5th Most Annoying in Sports

Sean Ovariez — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:44:42 +0000

It’s remarkable how arrogant the fan base of a team with zero Stanley Cups, no Hall of Fame players, and two homoerotic Swedish twins that seem physically afraid of the playoffs can act. It’s literally mind-boggling! These days, when they’re not too busy demanding trades on local radio shows or reminiscing about that year they almost signed Wayne Gretzky, you can usually find Canucks fans preaching about how hosting Jarome Iginla and the Canadian Olympic team will finally establish their city as a genuine hockey town (sort of like how marrying Lamar Odom made Khloe Kardashian a real celebrity – legitimacy by association).

Next time you see a suspected pyramid schemer in the corner of a trendy wine bar sporting a $200 hair cut, $900 suit, and emanating a distinct air of scumbag from his Drakkar Noir-soaked pores – go ahead and ask him about Kevin Bieksa, because odds are he’s a Vancouver Canucks fan and doesn’t want to cry himself to sleep again before throwing out obscene predictions about the Norris Trophy.

If you’ve been reading from the start, you’ll know that I don’t disagree at all (except for the part about the Sedins whom I heart just fine)! Stop being douchebags, Canucks fans! Stop freaking out over a “poor” 3 game start to the season. NEVER EVER plan a Stanley Cup parade after the 1st round again! Etc.. Sheesh.

It’s also idiots like this that give Canucks fans a bad name. His name was Richard and he completely disowned the Canucks during their losing streak last year, saying he would never ever watch them again. He even cancelled his cable! Later, he proceeded to jump back on the bandwagon after they went on a winning streak. Here’s some of what he wrote-in to the Province:

My heart can’t take it any more. I’ve been a Canucks fan for over 30 years. Every year we are fooled into believing this will be THE year or at least this year will be a better year.

I fall for the hype every time, but after last night’s game … something died in me.

I’ve never felt that disappointed by a loss in my life. I was so upset, in fact, that it carried over to my relationship with my wife. I snapped at her over the dumbest of things. She was an innocent bystander and not a hockey fan. That anger that was wrongly aimed at my wonderful wife was an anger so powerful I couldn’t contain it. An anger expressed because of my emotional tie to a stupid sports team.

I will never let that happen again.

I proved to myself that watching, cheering and supporting the Canucks has finally come to an end. Period.

The time I wasted watching the Canucks games I will now spend with my wife and daughter.

Douchebag.

What’s Wrong With this Team?

Tonyz Tanti — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 08:28:24 +0000

They’re 0-3 and in less than one week have gone from cup contenders to talentless bums (according to the bandwagon douchebags anyways). Well, the fact of the matter is that this team isn’t as good as those early season predictions (loyal Canuckz.com readers already knew this after reading this post) and they’re not as bad as their 0-3 record suggests. I think what’s wrong with the Canucks is a combination of them getting cocky, believing their own preseason hype, and being out of sync. Being out of sync can be attributed to them not icing a single game in the preseason with their full line-up. I believe they kept too many prospects right to the final game of the preseason. So that’s the bad news.

The good news is, they’ve actually played pretty well in large portions of all three games. The Canucks have outplayed their opponents in about 70% of their games, but haven’t been able to score. Conversely, their opponents have capitalized on their chances, putting Luongo and company in a big hole.

Random Thoughts

More good news: Luongo won’t be this bad for long and the Canucks won’t be this snake-bit for long.

When the Canucks have played with urgency, they’ve been very good. The problem is that by the time they decided to play with urgency on Monday night, they were down by three goals. Same thing against Calgary.

The Canucks penalty kill needs to get better. Their opponents have absolutely lit them up on the man advantage: Columbus was 1-3, Colorado was 2-6, and Calgary was 2-3. You can’t expect to win with penalty killing like that.

Ryan Johnson has been on the ice for all six goals against while shorthanded! Not good for someone who is supposed to be a penalty killing specialist. Rick Rypien has been on for three of them. Ryan Kesler and Alex Burrows haven’t been on for a goal against while on the penalty kill.

Five of the six power play goals against have been scored by the other team’s second unit.

Maybe they ought to keep one of Burrows or Kesler on the ice at all times while on the penalty kill.

The Sergei Shirokov experiment may be over. Alain Vigneault juggled his lines after they were down 4-1 against Columbus and Shirokov ended up on the 4th line with Ryan Johnson and Rick Rypien. Shirokov’s old linemates, Ryan Kesler and Mikael Samuelsson, were much more effective playing with Mason Raymond in the 3rd period. Look for Tanner Glass to be inserted into the lineup against Montreal.

What are the game presentation people doing at GM Place? The Canucks are now hitting the ice to some mellow song by Cold Play after a sappy intro on the big screen. Not surprisingly, this put the home crowd a bit to sleep to start the game. I know it was Columbus on a Monday night, but I have never seen a quieter home opener to start the game, and the game presentation certainly contributed to it.

Anybody notice that there were an awful lot of tickets available for the home opener? It’s become abundantly clear that the sellout streak has ended (unless you count giving away hundreds of tickets) and it’s not because of a lack of fan support. Simply put, the Aquilinis have now priced people right out of the building. Seriously, how many people can afford to spend over $200 on a mediocre corner seat in the lower bowl, for Columbus on a Monday night no less? The entire city of Vancouver is crazy about this team right now and for the Canucks to price tickets so high that they can’t sell them is just plain greedy.

And now, something to help cheer us cheer up…

Lets Get Some Love for Demitra

Tonyz Tanti — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:59:33 +0000

That’s right, I said it. Pavol Demitra revealed on Tuesday that he will likely miss another six weeks with a shoulder injury and what ensued was what can be described as mild jubilation on sports talk radio and message boards. Demitra has been described as too soft and too streaky, and many are suggesting that the Canucks would be better off without him.

While Demitra is soft and is streaky, that by no means is an indication that the Canucks are better off without him. Every teams needs grinders like Kesler and Burrows, but they also need skilled/versatile guys like Demitra. Lets review. Demitra started last year at centre in between Taylor Pyatt and Mason Raymond on the 2nd line. Amazing he kept that line afloat. He also played the point on the power play when needed. When he actually had players to play with at his natural position (on the wing with Kesler and Sundin), he put up 31 points in the last 32 games of the regular season. He only put up 3 points in 6 playoff games, but the Canucks were 5-1 with him in the lineup. And if you need further convincing for his value, consider that he scored an overtime goal to beat Calgary in October and had the best shootout percentage of any Canuck that took more than 2 attempts (including the only shootout goal against Calgary in February).

Yes, I’m aware he makes $4 million. Yes, being out for a bit of time may help their cap situation. But having a skilled, experienced, versatile, enigmatic European on your team has its value.

Kiprusoff still hasn’t moved on this one:

Canucks Reportedly Re-Sign Luongo

Tonyz Tanti — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 06:08:17 +0000

According to Sportsnet, the Canucks have re-signed franchise player and team captain Roberto Luongo. Apparently the term and salary have been agreed upon, so only minor details remain to be worked out. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to Canucks fans, but it’s definitely great news. Remember all those bandwagon douchebags calling for the Canucks to trade Luongo after the Canucks were bounced in the 2nd round by Chicago? Luckily Mike Gillis isn’t smoking the same thing they were, and realizes the value of a top goalie.

Luongo To Sign Extension Soon?

Tonyz Tanti — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 06:57:16 +0000

Reports are circulating that Luongo is about to sign a six year deal worth over $6.5 million per season. If this is true, it would make sense for them to announce it after the Olympic orientation camp (as to not upstage that event) and to do it while Luongo is in Western Canada, where he can fly to Vancouver after the orientation camp (I assume he has spent most of the offseason in Miami or Montreal).

If it’s a six year deal worth under $7 million per season, I think it’s a steal for the Canucks. Don’t believe the bandwagon douchebags that think you can’t win with a high priced goalie. They’re the same douchebags that were saying you can’t win the Cup with a Swedish captain (until Lidstrom did it in 2008) and that you had to be filled with a bunch of goons after Anaheim won the Cup in 2007 (Pittsburgh won without any last year). The fact of the matter is that there are many ways to win a Cup and you don’t have to play this ridiculous copy-cat game to do it.

Nazzy Speaks! Jersey Retirement Next?

Tonyz Tanti — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 09:59:45 +0000

Good article in the Province this weekend about about Markus Naslund. For the first time since his retirement, Naslund spoke candidly to Province reporter Jim Jamieson about life after hockey. This of course means that the debate of whether or not to hang his #19 from the rafters of GM Place has heated up. When asked about it, Naslund said “It’s very flattering. If you ask any athlete, to have your number retired is one of the most flattering things you can have happen. It would be a great honour”. Typical response from a guy who has been a class act throughout his whole career.

So should Naslund’s number be retired? It will surely serve as great debate for Canucks fans. I think it should (and will), but I don’t think it will be retired this season. The memory and bitterness of Canucks fans is still too great about Naslund’s final 2-3 seasons in Vancouver. People have forgotten about the amazing seasons he had for the franchise. If people can forget that Pavel Bure demanded a trade and sat out most of the 1998-99 season while still under contract and want his number retired, surely a lot of people will want Naslund’s number retired in a couple of years from now.

For those of you against having Naslund’s number retired, consider this: he is the all-time franchise leader in goals and points (while playing fewer games in a more defensive era than Smyl or Linden). At the top of his game, few in the league compared to Naslund. His best two seasons in 2001-02 and 2002-03, he scored 40 and 48 goals, doing so in a very defensive era of the league. In 01-02 and 02-03, only Jarome Iginla (52 goals in 01-02) and Milan Hejduk (50 goals in 02-03) scored 50 goals in a season. When you compare that to Bure’s best two seasons in a Canucks jersey (back to back 60 goal seasons in 92-93 and 93-94), you can see just how impressive Naslund’s achievements were. Bure’s first 60 goal season was a time when Mogilny (76 goals), Selanne (76 goals), Lemieux (69 goals) and Robitaille (63 goals) all scored more than him. Bure lead the league in goals in 1993-94, but not by much. Hull, Fedorov, Andreychuk, Shanahan, Graves, Sheppard, Modano and Neely all scored 50 or more goals (Neely actually scored 50 goals in 49 games that year). My point here is that Naslund’s best years were comparable to that of Bure’s (who would have his jersey retired had he not demanded to leave town), and his all-time numbers eclipse that of Linden’s and Smyl’s (who both have their jerseys retired).

Now I know what all of you are probably saying, “Naslund didn’t have any success in the playoffs.” While it is true that Naslund never reached the 3rd round with the Canucks, his playoffs could hardly be called failures. In his prime (2001-02 to 2003-04), Naslund scored 25 points in 27 playoff games. His best playoff came in 2003-04 when he was playing hurt (courtesy of Steve Moore) and was without Todd Bertuzzi. He got 9 points in 7 games that year, playing with Brendan Morrison and Matt Cooke. The Canucks playoff failures were more due to the team not having any kind of above average goal-tending (Cloutier’s goal from centre ice in 2002, Cloutier’s .868 SV% in 2003, and the Cloutier-Hedberg-Auld combo in 2004). Ask yourself this, would Bure and Linden be looked at the same if Kirk McLean hadn’t made “the save” in 1994 to keep their season alive? Of course not. Naslund never got a chance to do the things that Linden and Bure did in the playoffs because he simply wasn’t given the opportunity. Maybe that’s just bad luck for him, but I think he did enough in the playoffs to warrant his jersey hanging in the rafters.

So should the Canucks retire his jersey? Give your opinion in the comments section.

Plan the Stanley Cup Parade Route! Really?!

Sean Ovariez — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 17:33:54 +0000

I figure this would be the perfect 1st post.. add this to the long list of reasons why Canucks fans/media in general are total douchebag bandwagoners!

The Province wants you to send in your Stanley Cup Parade Route! Really?! Seriously!?

The last time I checked, the Canucks only have 4 wins thus far and it takes 16. You can’t tempt the Hockey Gods like this if you have zero (ZERO!) Stanley Cups in 38 years!

Way to put the cart before the horse!!